4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
