Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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