dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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