so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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