she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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