we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
