DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
