Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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