we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
