I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
