i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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