Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
