I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
