OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize