it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
