Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
