you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I will be naked everywhere
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
