she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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