at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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