Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
