it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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