sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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