Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
