need another drink. this is the easiest way
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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