Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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