The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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