Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
