i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
