So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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