If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
