I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
