Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
