Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
