id be glad to
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
