ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think my tv is drunk
I want to have your abortion
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
