My brain says no but my pants say off.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
