fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
