Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
