These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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