There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My dick has a subreddit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
