If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
