Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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