we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
