Don't make out with my wife yet
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
