Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
