normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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