You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
