But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize