dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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