Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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