oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
porn star boner night. come get it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
