Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
