Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
