Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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