he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i came on her dog
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My life is pants optional.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
