Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
