i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
