you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
