May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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