Nicole vs. Life
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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